just in case...
you hadn't yet figured it out ... or just in case you know who this is directed to ..your emails now go automatically into my spam box. .. you are NOT the face that haunts Me... I only check your blog periodically because information that you claim to have and have posted in the past, presents a security threat... not to Me or to my well being, but potentially to innocents... and those are the kinds of threats that I will not take lightly.
say, think, feel, or do whatever you want to about, or to Me... no big deal...it's whatever, ya' know
but, since I have your attention.. let me just say, once and unequivocally.. GET OVER IT .. your friends, I'm sure will agree with Me.
it's no longer My fault that you have failed to improve your lot in life. I'll take at least partial, if not full responsibility for you being in a hole when we went our separate ways. .. but MONTHS have passed... I'd fallen into a whole, especially after paying you for the appliances that we had purchased together... but whatever, I won't harbor a grudge. I was upset about the TV, but I bought a new one... I was behind on the payment for the Stratus, but now I own a Charger... ya' know, I tried for years to explain that you can either wallow in the negativity, let that bile wash all over you, until it drowns you.. or you can take some Gawd Damned Responsibility for where you are in life... grab your own ass with both hands, and get the fuck over the mountain in front of you... it comes down to making a choice... I preached this for years, to no avail ... you have to make a disciplined decision... to focus on, and look for the good in life.. but even now, you choose not to. you don't realize that you still for the most part, have your health, you have a job, and a mode of transportation... be thankful, live life, and move forward.. or wither and die... there's only one choice to make here.. live forward, not backward.
and just for the record, no, the choices I made were not done to cause you pain, or to make you suffer.. I made a choice that I could no longer live that life.. it was going nowhere, I was unhappy, and no, it wasn't boredom.... it was pain, and I felt myself dying a little more each day... I'm only 43 years old.. I need to have more things left to live for.. I need to have hopes and dreams... and well over our nine years, a lot of those died, as did a big part of Me. I"m not blaming you. I'm not even expecting you to understand, and to be honest, if I don't get a response, that'll be just fine.
this is something I told myself that I was going to refrain from, but here it is anyway... maybe you'll see it, maybe you won't.. either way it won't change anything about how you feel, nothing I ever said did. but back to my original point... your emails go to my spam box ,you are not haunting Me in any way.. and I only check the blog for the sake of safety
say, think, feel, or do whatever you want to about, or to Me... no big deal...it's whatever, ya' know
but, since I have your attention.. let me just say, once and unequivocally.. GET OVER IT .. your friends, I'm sure will agree with Me.
it's no longer My fault that you have failed to improve your lot in life. I'll take at least partial, if not full responsibility for you being in a hole when we went our separate ways. .. but MONTHS have passed... I'd fallen into a whole, especially after paying you for the appliances that we had purchased together... but whatever, I won't harbor a grudge. I was upset about the TV, but I bought a new one... I was behind on the payment for the Stratus, but now I own a Charger... ya' know, I tried for years to explain that you can either wallow in the negativity, let that bile wash all over you, until it drowns you.. or you can take some Gawd Damned Responsibility for where you are in life... grab your own ass with both hands, and get the fuck over the mountain in front of you... it comes down to making a choice... I preached this for years, to no avail ... you have to make a disciplined decision... to focus on, and look for the good in life.. but even now, you choose not to. you don't realize that you still for the most part, have your health, you have a job, and a mode of transportation... be thankful, live life, and move forward.. or wither and die... there's only one choice to make here.. live forward, not backward.
and just for the record, no, the choices I made were not done to cause you pain, or to make you suffer.. I made a choice that I could no longer live that life.. it was going nowhere, I was unhappy, and no, it wasn't boredom.... it was pain, and I felt myself dying a little more each day... I'm only 43 years old.. I need to have more things left to live for.. I need to have hopes and dreams... and well over our nine years, a lot of those died, as did a big part of Me. I"m not blaming you. I'm not even expecting you to understand, and to be honest, if I don't get a response, that'll be just fine.
this is something I told myself that I was going to refrain from, but here it is anyway... maybe you'll see it, maybe you won't.. either way it won't change anything about how you feel, nothing I ever said did. but back to my original point... your emails go to my spam box ,you are not haunting Me in any way.. and I only check the blog for the sake of safety
posted by rjanis | 1:07 AM
11 Comments:
I posted this on Kelly's blog as well. This is from an outsider looking in. You might not like the view. My question to you is:
Can YOU give me one instance where Kelly has not been honest about the money she has paid to help you over the years? Did Kelly help pay your child support? Did she help you pay your back taxes? Does she now have insurmountable credit card debt that YOU helped make? Have you done ANYTHING to make arrangements to repay any of that money to her? If not, then why not?
It might not be my business, but I have actually met you in person Ron while I have not met Kelly and yet in the grand scheme of things, from what I have seen, I don't think you've been honest with anyone in a long time, particularly yourself. Remember when I asked you if you were OK? You gave me a half assed answer about not liking yourself too much. Well congrats, because I don't think I like ya either. You've made decisions that you might think are good for you, but in the wake, you've hurt people you professed to love. Pity the fool.
My tax debt was one that did not require being paid back. I had unfiled returns. the IRS wanted 20K or some silly number, and were in the process of going to collection, freezing assets etc.
I filed the returns, and they sent ME money, several thousand dollars to be precise.
Vicki, I'm not Carl, you've had only one side of this story, and jumped on the band wagon... poor poor her... I just want her to take some responsibilty for her current lot in life. you know as well as I do, that continued harboring of the past is not good for her.
she was very much in debt at the onset of our relationship... the reason those debts were removed was through my income. Free rent for 9 years does tend to cloud one's judgement.
it's not my fault that she has no marketable job skills.
but, the answer to "am I okay?"
yes, I'm very much okay. I didn't leave her for someone else, I left her for Myself... I need to be happy, and well, I hadn't been, not for a long long time...
the innocent I had referred to were the children.. it's a sick sad world we live in... someone can read the information posted, choose a side, and then after becoming infuriated, and now armed with personal information... go after the kids... I don't think any of the regular followers to this blog pose that kind of a threat... but... this is all out there, for the entire world to see.. so although the chances are slim to none that anything like that would happen... there is still that chance.
so, yeah, I will check in on that blog from time to time.
but what I won't do is say too much more about it. I'm living My life, in forward, not in reverse.
Ron:
Now it is my turn to ask about some of the same things that Vicki did that you did not answer.
I know that there are at least 2 sides to every story.
Did Kelly help you pay owed/back child support?
Did Kelly pay some of your taxes to the IRS?
Did Kelly really not pay any rent for 9 years?
Did Kelly pay for your speeding tickets and vehicle repairs?
Kelly says that she has the cancelled checks to show that she did pay these things.
Kelly does have marketable skills, just with this economy and the job market, she was not able to locate something with insurance or the medical field.
If you were so unhappy in the relationship with Kelly, why would you ask her to marry you, then turn around and say I don't love you and want out? And, oh yeah, already be seeing someone else on the side.
Yes, I do agree that Kelly needs to get over you. I also know that she is moving forward.
I am glad that you are doing ok. In time, Kelly will be doing ok as well.
Mel
Sorry - I might not have been specific enough with the questions I asked you, Ron.
Did Kelly use monies from her 401K to pay those things that I asked you about?
Thanks! Mel
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Ron,
I never accused you of being Carl. I didn’t think you were capable of being as cold and heartless and he can be. I now see a different side of you and frankly I am blown away. I always thought of you as one of the enlightened men.
Hypothetically speaking, let’s forget all of the actual details of your (you and Kelly) relationship. Here is the story. Feel free to correct me, if I am misunderstanding this situation.
Two people have been living together in the same residence, sharing the same bed, living as a couple, mixing finances as well as lifestyles. After nine years, the male of this relationship asks the female to be his wife and with the promise of a future together, the female says yes. Less than one month later, 30 days the male not only reneges on the proposal and promise, but essentially throws away the entire 9 year relationship without any warning to the female prior.
I ask you this:
Did the male ever have any conversations or communication with the female that would lead her to believe that he was not sincere in his proposal or honest in his promise for the future?
Is there any reason, the female should have expected to be cast off less than 30 days from having accepted that proposal and promise? Were there any sign, implied or otherwise that things were not as they had been for the past nine years?
Would the male have felt differently about living with the female all those years if they were married from the onset, with regard to rent, food, utilities, jobs, etc? Or does the male feel he was “cheated” out of rent for years mean that this was actually a roommate situation gone awry? Perhaps the male should have to pay for sex instead of just expecting it from the female in residence?
You see, from my vantage point, the timing is way off here Ron. A relationship that has been going on for so many years can only end abruptly and immediately in the event of one of the partner’s death. Since neither you nor Kelly died, there is no reasonable explanation for the sudden split in January. There is a proper and just manner to go about ending a relationship. This was not it. And while not a death, a mourning period still has to happen.
Read up on the 5 stages of grief. Here is a link for you: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model
I cannot and will not fault Kelly for her rants, raves, stomping and screaming and venting because her life has been upheaved and all she held dear for so long was handed back to her in shards of what once was. You should give her whatever time she needs to work it through. It won’t be done so quickly. Maybe you can move on in a short amount of time. Perhaps your ability to do that is because in your mind it was over a long time ago. But you need to give Kelly her due and let her grieve her loss in her own way and her own time. You want Kelly to “take some responsibilty [sic] for her current lot in life.” Well that might have been a good assessment if she had any advanced warning of what to expect.
I want to reiterate, this is none of my business and I appreciate your willingness to at least read what I have written. I promise not to trog your blog looking to flog you. Lol (sorry had to) But if you think I jumped on the band wagon because I only had one side to this story, you are wrong. I had your side before you made these extreme changes. Everything I knew about you prior to January makes no sense compared to what I see now. I realize I didn’t know anything about you. I am betting Kelly is feeling the same way. Ronnie we hardly knew ‘ye.
I would also suggest you look up Narcissistic Personality Disorder. While I don’t think you have this particular personality disorder, there are snippets of the disorder that I do see in you. The world doesn’t revolve around “us” as individuals. We need to be cautious of what we do or say and how it affects those around us, especially those we profess to love.
With respect,
Vicki
I am utterly crushed you are sending the mail I forward, your bills, to spam. Oh well, I will get over that too.
By the way, I find it rather interesting that you turn mean after I stop being crushed by your actions. That leads me to believe that you really did get some kind of sick thrill in causing me that much pain, watching it tear me apart. That makes you a truly evil man. And saddens me that I gave my heart and life to a man who never appreciated what I had to give, and did not deserve it. Definitely my mistake. I hope I don't make one like that again.
If you encouraged the baby to write on my blog..bad idea. No bright light there. I am surprised that you did not look for someone more challenging to debate with, but then again, smart women ask too many questions. You should be able to lie to her for a long time, and she will be none the wiser.
As for other answers to the question of me endangering her children, you will have to read more about it. I've already answered that after her comment.
The real person you both have to be concerned about is the father to those kids, not me. Sorry, not going to be tagged the bad guy for that one.
Okay... I'm 100% NEUTRAL here... And only reason why I'm posting something now is for the fact that no one sees it in Ron's or his new girl's point of view.
I know the story well, and yes Ron f*cked up. He fucked up real bad. But Kelly isn't without any faults and I lived with them for a number of years so I think I know what I'm talking about here.
Ron was unhappy, real unhappy for a long time. Well before he proposed. Why did he propose than? Cause he wanted the 100% knowledge that he would have a forever "love" even if he had to pretend it. He pretended soooo well that at a point, he fell into truly believing it.
Than one day, he was awoken. By what? Who knows? And he realized he couldn't live the fake life he created any longer and looked for someone to truly make him happy again.
And ummm... lets look back into history with the 2 of you both, Ron and Kelly. Ron, you tried to leave A LONG TIME AGO. Kelly, remember what you attempted? Not mentioning it, cause I don't want to out you. Could it be a bit understandable why he would be afraid to leave again? You trapped him in for a long time, he lived in fear that if he left, he would be risking your sanity, once again. But than came to the realization that he had to live his life for HIMSELF. Not in fear of what you may try again.
Also, Ron did discuss the issues that Kelly had. Kelly never worked on changing them. But would reflect them. Would do the "am I just suppose to be a stepford wife?". No, she shouldn't have to be happy ALL the time, but also can't be a bummer ALL the time either. A bit of advice, be happier more than depressed, enjoy life a bit, and you'll have more fun. Life is what you make of it, and that goes to everyone.
I disagree HIGHLY in Ron's statement to "get over it" to Kelly. That was VERY uncalled for. Kelly's working on it, it shows by her blog when she isn't venting (which she's entitled to completely). She was even talking of dating again. Not serious relationship ready but a date, which is quick for someone in her shoes. Yes, it has been months, but for everyone and every situation is different. And I think when you get proposed to, your dreams are coming true and you think you found "the one" and it all gets ripped out from under your feet, its gonna take awhile to heal. She's entitled to however long she damn well wants.
As for Ron's new girl, it was bad timing when they met. But they truly make one another happy. She knows all of his history, he knows all of hers. They accept each other COMPLETELY (something Kelly didn't do with Ron) and are happy together.
Some may say shes "a bad mom" for doing what she did to her kids, but that's debatable. She did NOTHING to her kids. She didn't cheat on her kids, didn't hurt them, didn't take their dad away from them, etc. She isn't a bad mom because she cheated on their dad. Do the kids (or you Kelly) REALLY care about who your mom (or dad) bones? If the parents show that they both love the kids the same, together or not, than why would the kids care about who's in Mommy's or Daddy's bed?
So, in the end, both of you 2 fucked up equally. Ron, your not telling your side well at all. Don't know why. Kelly, you are a decent person, but aren't without your faults either. No one is perfect here. Ron's new girl, you're good people, regardless of whatever whoever says.
And onto other things, lets read the ex-wife's blog now... http://theravenwyn.blogspot.com/
Misery loves company. Enjoy!
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