My father, my friend

My Father My Friend.

My Father My Friend.

Ron Janis

"it's a nice day outside. the sun is shining it's almost 50 degrees, and there's a nice breeze blowing. I saw a chubby little squirrel running across a telephone wire. today is a good day." I said these things as he lay there motionless. we knew that his time had come, I already told him that I loved him, and that I was proud to have called him my Father. it was a short time later, as we sat there holding his hands that he left us. It was March the first 2010. What many people consider as the unofficial first day of spring, was my Father's last day here. He's gone on to a better place. His pain has ended. left behind is the pain that we all feel from his absence and departure. This pain, that we have now, is for me the price we pay for his pain having ended. 

He was to me, the man who invented tough.. he defined strength

his life was not easy, but it was full .. full of challenges, and full of love

maybe he didn't always take the time to smell the roses.. but when he did stop to enjoy his blessings, trust me, he was filled with joy... 

He was passionate about many things, none the least of which was helping those around him to become better than they were.. he had his own tough brand of help, and maybe there were those who didn't understand him.. 

but to those of us who did, he was a fountain of strength, and he was filled with life, and to all of us, we were better off, stronger, and more able to face our own challenges ...whether we realized it or not.

he liked to say that many people "look" but they don't "see".. he said people "hear" but they don't "listen"

he was filled with what used to be called "moxie".. or "intestinal fortitude".. he wasn't always as sure of himself, as the unitiated may have been led to believe, but he was sure that he had taken all the information availible to him, and processed it, or "cogitated" over it as he used to say.. no, his mind may not have always been open to new sources of data, but his eyes and ears always were searching, and his mind was always thinking.. even as his body had stopped working, you could see that he was thinking.. even until the end.. always a thinker.. always there to try to solve the next problem 

but.. now those of us left behind will feel his loss.. when a problem comes up, and we don't know how to solve it.. when life throws us a curve ball .. as it threw him so many.. and we don't even know the right questions to ask to find a way through, we'll know that he is not there for us to go and see.. he won't be there to call .. but for so many of us, he is in our hearts, his strength, his way of doing things, of speaking, of questioning everything to find the best way to solve the next problem will always be with us 

that's what he did. He solved problems, he was; among many other things, a thinker. a long time Navy Man who worked in logistics.. he knew logic, he looked and saw, he listened and heard... he thought, he gathered data, and he figured things out. This last problem, the one of his body having lost all its strength was the one problem he couldn't solve. we all hoped he would regain his strength. we all wanted to see him come home again.... these things did happen... His pain is now over, his strength is renewed, he is now at peace watching over us all. He couldn't solve this last problem, but those of us who loved him, those of us who were blessed enough to be there with him at the end watched God solve this one. He has gone home, and he will be there for us when we are called. Until then it is up to those of us who remain to do as he tried to teach us to do,... whatever challenges life throws at us, we will endeavor to see when we look, and to hear when we listen.. we will be stronger, and just a bit smarter for having had him in our lives

My Father

My Friend.

 he will be always missed, but never forgotten. 

Ron Janis

just wanted to put this somewhere, in case I have problems with this computer and have to format it again

This was copy and pasted from Facebook where it sat comfortably for all these years, but nowadays, I'm having my issues with Facebook... So, hopefully these words will remain safe here.

Right now... Random melancholy

I might leave this short.. I might ramble on...
I had to put this somewhere.
I HATE one thing about my life right now, there's more behind than there is ahead.

Just in case

Just in case you read this... Happy birthday. I found an old email address a cpl weeks ago, so I sent you a quick note... Nevermind what it said... Just know that I've never forgotten you. And I hope you're doing well... Happy birthday.

In case you still read this

Jasper is crossing the rainbow Bridge. He's had an excellent life in the years since we split up. Inside/outside excellent door service. He became even more of a bed hog than before... Choosing often to sleep in pillows. I'm the end he doesn't seem to be in pain... Just not ambulatory. We're keeping him comfortable and he knows he's loved.
Just wanted to put this out here.. I know you hated how things went for buster... And wanted you to know that jasper and razshmus lived much better lives. Raz is still quite healthy and very spoiled as well.

Um, so, yeah...

Happy whatever...

...

If you'd like to discuss family tradition... Perhaps you should put down bottle...

Another year..

I don't know if you'll see this. But I was asked years ago not to contact you, the least I owe you is that much. I think about you often, mostly just to wonder. I wonder if you are driving yet, I wonder if at almost 3 decades of age you've found anyone, if you're driving yet, if so what kind of car, I wonder if you'll ever stop hating me. Truth is that no matter what you may think, I've never stopped loving you. I would like to meet you, I'd like to get to know the man that you've become. Maybe over a burger, or pizza, or whatever. I've quit drinking so I guess having a few beers, or mead, or grog, is sadly out... I just wanted to throw this out there. I let the 8th pass completely before posting this just out of respect for the date, I hope that if you still celebrate the date, that it was good. And if it's not too cliche, "happy birthday"
Maybe before another year passes, we'll get together, at least once. Well.. You know how to contact me, feel free whenever. I hope that you will. But I doubt it.